i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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