Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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