I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
