I'm eating all of the evidence.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
