You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is wine microwaveable?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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