oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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