"it" just moved
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
