For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
