Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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