his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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