I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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