Apparently you make a good broom.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
