Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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