Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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