i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
