I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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