Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
