No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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