Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
