but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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