I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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