i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize