But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
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I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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