I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
pray to the hookup gods
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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