garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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