Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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