So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
