He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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