I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
