if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
