We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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