I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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