I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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