dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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