I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize