I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
