Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think i have herpe
just one?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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