So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
