I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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