mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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