I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
