all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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