I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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