my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just blew my weed a kiss
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
