HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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