gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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