New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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