he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
