I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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