Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
