their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize