You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
