I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
