i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
