Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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