You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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