No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
