i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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