"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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