just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
