You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
